It is not so simple. None of it. If I had a different past I would have a different future and be a different person. Being ugly and socially awkward forced me find other persuits. Mostly books. My disatisfaction with the situation I found myself in led to a powerful curiosity. If I was enjoying life to any great extent, I would be complacent. But now, I feel I have learned enough. I would like happiness and an end to suffering. There is no end.